i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
