Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
