so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
