I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
