You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
