I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
