I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
