THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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