the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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