I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
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