Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
id be glad to
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
