So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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