I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
