Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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