No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
