brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
