Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
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Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
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Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?