That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
How's work?
Spinning.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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