Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(281): View more from Texas

My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.

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(516): View more from New York

He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue

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(815): View more from Illinois

Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(317): View more from Indiana

The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.

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(281): View more from Texas

Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.

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(207): View more from Maine

Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.

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(714): View more from California

Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.

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