Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
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She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
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I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐