i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
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Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
What is this nonsense on the table
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
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I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated