We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.