im so drunk with asians
where?
always
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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