I heard we made out
thus making me awesome and them whores
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
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thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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