he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
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