Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Randomize
