My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
