we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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