Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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