I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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