8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
