So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
this is an emotional support booty call
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
