did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
