We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
