Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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