i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
