So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
