yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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