it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
