Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
