whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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