i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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