I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
