Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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