the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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