i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
