Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
one two three fourrrrnication!
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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