I hate your face
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Randomize
