Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
