I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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