If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
