Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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