they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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