I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
