You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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