Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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