I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I skipped work to stalk him.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
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