people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
