Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I think your dad took our porno
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
