fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
