member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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