it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
