Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I will be naked everywhere
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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