foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
We had sex on a dog bed..
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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