I just made out with a guy for $7.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
he was CRYING into my vagina
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
