gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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