I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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